


I Would Be Honored

by SmokeMonsterSyd



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F, Rizzles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25451374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmokeMonsterSyd/pseuds/SmokeMonsterSyd
Summary: "You know, I've been thinking about what you said...about planning for the baby's future.""Oh?""If...something ever happens to me, you know, something serious…I would want you to have my baby. Would you...be willing to do that?""I would be honored."Rizzles AU
Relationships: Maura Isles/Jane Rizzoli
Comments: 13
Kudos: 203





	I Would Be Honored

**Author's Note:**

> No one asked for this. Angsty, but not too angsty. 
> 
> Enjoy 😌

She had been, by all accounts, a loud baby whenever Jane described her. She would always bring the baby over in her little carrier and she would be quiet as can be, and Jane would sigh with relief and hug Maura tightly as if she hadn't seen her just the day before. It used to be Maura's favorite part of the morning. But in those 5 months that Jane had Regina, she never made a peep when she came to Maura's house, and Maura always thought Jane was joking. 

The day Maura picked up Regina, Angela had begged her to help, saying that she wouldn't stop crying no matter what she did, which was unusual for her. Maura always wondered if she sensed that something had happened to her mother, but when she walked through the door and took her from Angela's arms, she was instantly soothed. 

Maura had panicked for a minute, looking up at Angela as if she had done something wrong, but Angela had just smiled at her. "Wow, Jane wasn't kidding!"

She never really thought that maybe Regina was quiet because she loved her as she did her own mother, she just thought that Angela's nervousness about Jane was causing the baby to act up. Either way, Maura was never quite comforted by the silence Regina held around her. 

And now, three years later, that child is still quiet as can be, and that feeling has never gone away, but with additional reasons. Now she has to worry about other people as well as herself screwing up the only thing Jane has to live for. 

She sits quietly on the floor of her office, scribbling on a coloring book, her dark brown curls bouncing with the effort of her arm. Her hair is getting too long, but Maura can't bare to cut it. It reminds her too much of Jane, and the way her hair used to sway with her swagger, making her look even tougher. She smiles briefly to herself before turning back to the body on the table and pulling out the large intestines to be weighed. 

The squeak of the door a few minutes later makes her look up from her work, first to the window into her office to check on Regina, before looking to the door right in front of her. 

"I have the labs for your John Doe," Kent says, placing the folder on the counter. 

Maura gives him a small smile. "Thank you."

He returns it briefly before looking towards Regina, who has looked up and quickly looks away when she notices Kent has caught her. 

"Is she alright? Do you need me to watch her?" He asks. 

Maura scrunches her face up in thought, gives Regina a once over, then shakes her head. 

"No, she's fine. She seems to be concerned about something today, she won't stop looking at me."

Kent squints. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Maura sighs, "She keeps checking on me as if she thinks I'm upset, or something is going to happen to me, and it's almost made me genuinely concerned for my own well-being. And this morning she put up a fight about going to Angela's, which she's never done before...it all just feels very ominous."

"Mmm...is there anything I can do to help?"

Maura thinks for a second before frowning. "Could you make sure she doesn't need any snacks or water? I worry that I didn't bring enough today, even if she isn't much of an eater."

Kent nods with a smile. "No problem."

Maura watches as he goes into her office and Regina stands to match him. She has to stop herself from laughing when she sees Kent talking to her, almost as if she were an adult and turns back to her autopsy, satisfied with what she sees. 

She's cutting open the liver when he comes back into the room. 

"All good on the snacks, and I'm going to refill her water."

"Thank you," Maura says, absentmindedly.

She senses him standing on the other side of the table, his presence like a mosquito buzzing in her ear, very hard to ignore. 

"Was there something else?" She says, not looking up.

"She mentioned something about seeing Jane today."

Maura freezes only briefly before continuing to observe the inside of the liver. Again, she is thrown back by the intuition of this child --she hadn't said anything about going to see Jane today, not out loud. 

"How long has it been?" He asks, softly. 

Maura chews on her cheek briefly, guilt coursing through her at her answer. "Just over 5 weeks."

"Maura--"

"You don't need to lecture me, I know I'm a horrible best friend for not seeing her."

"That wasn't what I was going to say," he says. When she doesn't look up, he taps her lightly on her hand, which finally convinces her to put down the liver she was pretending to study. He's smiling at her gently and his eyes are shining with what looks like tears. "I'm proud of you."

She shakes her head, holding back her own tears. "For what?"

"For going back when they told you it was pointless."

_He sits down across from her in her office, her beautiful Jack. They had been dating for over a year and he had stuck by her through all of this, and she can't help but be grateful to him. Along the way she realized she may not love him as strongly as she thought, but she would be willing to settle for him._

_However, something about his demeanor makes her think that might not be an option for long._

_"What was it you needed to talk to me about?" She says, and she smiles. Somehow she knows what's coming, and honestly, she's already confused._

_"I'm…" he sighs, "I don't really know how to say this."_

_Maura shakes her head. "You can say anything to me."_

_He folds his hands together and looks down at the floor briefly before meeting her eyes again. They look so sad._

_"I can't be with you anymore."_

_Although she saw it coming, it's still a punch to her gut. A part of her wonders if it's because she is unlovable or too much, and she starts spiralling before she even knows the reason. She tries to hold back her tears as best as she can, but one still slips through._

_"Can I ask why?" She chokes._

_"I...I'm not sure how to put this--"_

_"Just say it. Is it because of Regina? I thought you two were getting along fine--"_

_"We were, she's great."_

_Maura shakes her head. "Then, I don't understand."_

_He sighs and for an entire minute he's silent. She lets him have it, giving him time to think of what he wants to say instead of making this painful conversation go on for much longer than it has to._

_"I can't...compete with a dead woman anymore."_

_It's almost like a vacuum sucks all the air out of her chest and only leaves room for anger inside her. For him to say that to her face, he must have a lot of balls, because he has said the one thing that everyone else has said for the last year that has made her so angry._

_"She's not dead," she snaps._

_He nods his head. "You're not denying it, Maura."_

_"She's not dead, and she's my best friend, you have no idea what you're talking about."_

_"She's much more to you than that, and we both know it."_

_"I'm taking care of her daughter, Jack, of course I want her to get better."_

_He shakes his head. "You are completely missing the point."_

_She stands up and stomps over to her desk, turning her back on him and allowing her tears to fall freely. "Then say what you want to say instead of being passive aggressive."_

_"Maura, I'm not stupid, I know you're in love with her! Everyone can see it! And I'd rather not be your second choice for raising the love child you had with her!"_

_Maura feels her mouth fall open as she turns to face him again. "Just because I'm taking care of her, does not make her our love child!"_

_"That's not the problem here. The problem is that you are in love with Jane and because you can't have her, you were settling for me. But I'm not going to sit here and pretend like you care about me when it isn't true."_

_"You think I'm just some heartless bitch? That I don't care about you at all?"_

_"I wouldn't say 'heartless bitch', but no, I don't think you care about me as much as you care about her."_

_Maura scoffs. "You're an asshole."_

_He nods his head. "You still haven't told me I'm wrong about your feelings for Jane. Look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong, or I'm walking away."_

_And she does look at him, only crumbling further when she cannot bring herself to tell the lie. She just cries harder, holding onto herself for dear life as the one person she had to support her gets up, and walks out of her life._

"She's not dead, Kent," she sniffs. 

He nods. "I know...do you need me to go with you later?"

"No," Maura says, shaking her head, "I'll have Regina with me."

"What about Angela, or Frankie?"

"No, I--" Maura shakes her head. "I need to talk to her on my own."

Kent simply nods his head and pats her lightly on the hand. She watches him go for a minute, before meeting eyes with Regina through the window into her office. She gives a little wave and Regina giggles before looking away and going back to coloring. 

She looks just like Jane in that moment. 

*********

She's never fully gotten used to the weight on her hip, and she's not sure if it's because Regina is always growing or if she's just not cut out to be a mother. She wishes she was doing this with Jane, not on her own. 

Regina sleeps peacefully against her shoulder as she makes her way down the hallway that is so familiar, but she hasn't seen in so long. The walls are still the same, white and blue with the occasional framed painting, and the checkered floor slightly yellow. She pauses outside of Jane's room, her heart heavy with guilt. 

The last time she had been here, one of the nurses had told her, rather rudely, that there was no point in being here because Jane didn't know. And the thought of Jane really being gone had been more painful than what the nurse said, because with the pain came so many other feelings she had been holding back until then. Like longing, grief, and the very strong realization that she was indeed in love with her best friend. 

Only now, she couldn't even tell her because she couldn't say the words, and she knew that even if she could, Jane wasn't there to hear them. And then, on top of all that, what would Jane say? Would Maura lose her and Regina forever?

She shakes away her thoughts, opens the door and makes her way to her usual spot. A spot she hadn't been in for so long, but is still so familiar. She lays Regina down gently with her mother and can almost imagine they are in a different situation. Like they both fell asleep in the middle of the day and Maura had just walked in on them. 

She can tell that Jane has lost some weight since the last time she has been here, her cheek bones just a bit sharper, her chin more bony. But it is still her Jane. Her beautiful, strong Jane. When they are side by side, it's obvious who Regina's mother is. There are always people in the supermarket who will tell Maura that Regina looks just like her, but the truth is that Maura isn't her mother. Never really has been, and probably never will be. And the idea of this brings tears to her eyes, just another point of sadness to add on top of everything else. 

She knows her life would be better if Jane just woke up. But that's not what she is here to do. She isn't here to cry over Jane and pity herself. 

She gently takes Jane's free hand. 

"I know I haven't been here in awhile...I'm sorry," Maura murmurs, "you must think I'm a terrible friend. But, to be fair, your daughter is very demanding...just like you."

Maura gently traces lines and swirls on the back of Jane's still hand. 

"That's not really the reason I haven't been coming. I'm…" she sighs, frustrated, "fuck, why can't I just say it?"

She looks up into Jane's face, as if maybe she will respond and is somehow disheartened when she doesn't. She's not sure why she expected anything other than silence. 

"I need you, Jane," she chokes out, "I miss you so much, and my heart always hurts...and I love you."

She wipes away her tears, but they just keep coming. "I know I said it a lot before the accident, but I want you to know that I mean it. I want everything with you."

She sucks in a breath that sounds more like a sob than she expected it to. Her voice cracking with grief, she somehow continues on.

"I want to wake up with you every morning and kiss you and hold you, and then be pleasantly disturbed by our daughter. I want to spend Christmas wrapped in your arms while your family yells at a monopoly board as if it'll change the rules of the game. But, at this point, I will take one more smile from you, over all those things. And I know you probably don't feel the same," her voice runs out and it comes out strangled, "and that's fine, but please...don't leave me."

She lets herself sob quietly, her head in her hands and in her own world. 

Regina and Jane sleep on.

*********

Even after Jane's accident, Angela still remained her bright, cheery, optimistic self. It was Maura, really, who caused the silence to happen between them. They are both sitting at the kitchen island, nursing cups of tea, but Maura feels so far away from her. She wishes she hadn't put up the walls that are standing between them. Regina is sitting in the living room, playing with her dolls and murmuring to herself quietly, but Maura can still occasionally hear the imaginary conversation her playmates are having. 

She wonders a lot of things about Regina. Why is she so quiet? How is she the most well-behaved three year old that she has ever encountered? But most importantly, is she okay or is Maura doing something fundamentally wrong? She has all these questions and no answers and she wishes that Jane were there to tell her.

The words come out of her mouth before she can even stop them.

"Do you think I'm good at this?"

She looks to Angela and is surprised to find a look of shock on her face. Shock and confusion.

"Are you asking me if I think you're a good mother?"

She's never said the word aloud. She's not Regina's mother, no matter how much she wishes that were true. So, she nods. Angela shakes her head in wonder, her eyes wide, a sad smile on her face. 

"Maura...you're a wonderful mother."

Maura looks away, unable to handle the compliment when so many self deprecating insults are going through her mind. 

"I'm not h--"

"Don't you even dare say you're not a good mother. Look at her!"

And they both do turn to look at her, completely oblivious to the conversation, quiet as can be entertaining herself just steps away. 

"She's the most well behaved child I have ever met, and _you_ did that, Maura."

Maura shakes her head. "What if she's not just well behaved, what if something is wrong? I would never be able to face Jane again if I screwed up her daughter."

"Is that why you've been so quiet these last few months? You think you're screwing up?" Angela asks, concern in her voice. When Maura doesn't answer, she scoots a bit closer. "Maura...she would have never asked you to take her if she thought you would be a bad mother to her."

"But that's just it," Maura inserts, "she trusted me, and now her daughter is nothing like the daughter she had before."

"You mean when she would scream all the time as a newborn? She's not the same, she's grown up, and she's become just like you. Quiet, polite, the perfect child, to be completely honest. Nothing like Jane was when she was that age."

Unexpectedly, tears come to Maura's eyes and she tries to hold them in, but one falls silently down her cheek. Angela makes a soft clicking noise with her tongue before gently wiping it away with her knuckle. 

"Maura...talk to me," she sighs, sadly. 

Maura sniffs. "I shouldn't be doing this, I don't know how. Jane would know what to do, it's her daughter, and I always feel like I'm doing the wrong thing. What if she grows up with no friends like I did? Or doesn't understand social cues because I don't? I don't want Jane to be disappointed, or worse, mad at me. What if she never speaks to me again?"

"You are doing your best, sweetie, we all are, and when Jane wakes up, she will understand that. Trust me, she's not gonna stop speaking to you because you took her child in and raised her for her. She'll probably need you to keep helping when she does, because Regina isn't going to understand that she has to live with a stranger she's only seen in a hospital bed."

Maura nods and wipes her tears. "Jane is going to be so heartbroken."

"Well, I'm sure she'd rather it be you raising her than some stranger that got her through the foster system."

"I just...I don't want her to resent me."

"I don't think that's going to happen. You two were already basically planning to raise her together. It takes a village, right?"

Maura nods and finally looks up at Angela, giving her a reluctant smile. "Thank you."

"Of course," Angela smiles back slyly, "you know what would really be great, is if you two just moved in together and raised her as a real couple."

Maura, suddenly nervous, tries to return the smile again, but it comes out as a grimace. 

"That would be ideal, but as friends that would be difficult to explain to people--"

"Maura, I'm not stupid. I know you have feelings for her."

She stutters. "Well, yes, as a friend, it would be typical to have feelings about--"

"Uh-uh, you aren't going to lie your way out of this. I've watched you look at her for the last three years, and that is _not_ how a friend looks at a friend."

Maura finds a spot on her table suddenly very interesting and bites the inside of her cheek as they flush red. All this time she had thought she was being subtle, acting as only a friend would, but it seems her thoughts are very easily translated to her facial expressions. She smiles sadly to herself because while her feelings are obvious, Jane's are not, and there is still a large possibility that nothing will come of this conversation. 

"It doesn't matter."

"It does matter! If that's how you feel, then that's how you feel. How long have you been feeling this way?"

Maura shrugs. "I don't know… I guess I realized it when Casey proposed."

Angela gasps. "Maura! And you didn't say anything?"

"I couldn't! She was in love with him, I had no right to even think about ruining that! And then I had given up hope of ever being with her, and I met Jack, and she was so excited about us…" she sighs, "I never got to say it."

"Well," Angela sighs, "now you have a perfect reason."

Maura scrunches up her face and looks back at Angela, who sort of mirrors her look. 

"What if she doesn't feel the same?"

Angela tilts her head to the side slightly, thinking. "There may be a slight chance that she doesn't, but I think there is an even greater chance that she does. You never really know with Jane, she's too good at hiding her emotions."

"Mmm, very true."

Angela shrugs and smiles. "It doesn't hurt to try and ask though."

And for the first time in a long while, Maura feels hope ignite inside her chest again. 

*********

"Mommy?"

She'll never get used to that word. She looks up from the journal article in her lap to see Regina standing timidly in the hallway. Her hair looks like she's been through a tornado, curls all frizzy and sticking out, and Maura almost gasps, but closes her journal instead. 

"Yes, my love?"

Regina shuffles her feet a little and pushes her mouth to one side of her face, a habit Maura knows she picked up from her. Maura holds back a smile, hoping her face is relatively neutral. 

"I--I tried to do it myself but…" she says, and trails off with a little shrug. 

Maura gives her a sympathetic smile and then guides her back down the hallway to the bathroom. "We can fix it, no problem."

She lifts her up and sets her on the counter, facing the mirror and crossing her legs. She has perfect posture, the complete opposite of what she would expect from Jane's child. She watches for a minute as Regina picks at her fingernails, fidgeting in the slightest way possible, before grabbing the brush and turning away. She loves her with all of her heart, but some part of her feels like that's wrong. How can you not love someone you've raised for 6 years?

She quickly sections out Regina's big hair, clipping the top part up onto her head and only exposing the bottom layer. She runs the brush under the water, flicks off the excess, and then brushes gently through her darkening curls. 

"The trick is to use water," she says softly. 

"But...then I get wet and cold," she says, and shivers for good measure.

"You don't need much, just enough to make it manageable. You, little miss, soak it to the point of drowning."

Regina giggles. "You sound like Nona."

"Mm, thank you for telling me, I'll make sure to correct that," Maura laughs. 

"Why? I love Nona."

"Because the day I start sounding like your Nona is the day I become too overbearing, which is not my style."

Regina shrugs. "I don't know what that means."

Maura tilts her head to the side and smiles at her in the mirror, earning a smile in return. "Okay, word of the day. My phone is right there."

She pauses her ministrations as Regina reaches for her phone, then grabs the leave-in conditioner to lather into her hair. 

"How do you spell it?"

"O-v-e-r-b-e--"

"Got it."

Maura loves these little moments with her. She can actually believe that she is her child, and not that she is just a stand in mother for Jane. She runs her fingers through Regina's hair, making sure each strand is coated evenly with the conditioner before taking out another section to work on. 

"It says 'unpleasantly or arrogantly domineering'. What does domineering mean, again?"

"Controlling."

Regina nods. "Mmm, I don't think Nona is unpleasantly controlling."

Maura raises an eyebrow. "Oh, really? What about that time she made you go to church with her when I was at work?"

"I mean, that wasn't so bad."

"You were sick that day. You were so nervous to displease her, you threw up on the pew in front of you."

Regina opens her mouth like she's going to speak but nothing comes out at first. 

"Y--bu-- I wanted to go."

Maura laughs. "Sure you did. At least you're polite."

Regina laughs too. "Yeah, but she can't be overbearing because she wasn't mad at me! That was the first time she said I reminded her of Jane."

Maura tilts her head to the side in contemplation. "Yes, that does sound like something she would do."

They both go silent, like they always do whenever Jane is mentioned. She looks down at her work, at each perfect curl against Regina's head, and can't help but wish that Jane were here. 

"Do I remind you of her?" Regina asks, softly. When Maura looks up, they lock eyes in the mirror. 

"Yes," she says, smiling, "you look a lot like her."

Regina scrunches up her nose. "How?"

"Well," Maura breathes, and looks down at her curls again to get back to work, "The way you smile and make the whole room glow brighter. Your hair, your skin, and I can tell you're going to be tall like her."

"Do I act like her? Nona says I don't."

Maura nods. "You act like her when she's at her best. You act like...when it would just be her and I, she was much softer… she didn't act that way around anyone else. Just me. Your Nona never got to see that side of her, that's why she says that."

"Is she a good mom?"

"Oh, yes. She's very good with kids, although she always used to say that she could never calm you down at home. She would always bring you over here and hug me like I had saved her life," Maura says, chuckling. 

Regina nods a bit. "Oh."

Maura looks up at her lackluster response, only to see that she is biting her bottom lip nervously. Maura tilts her head in sympathy. 

"What are you thinking?"

She shakes her head. "Nothing."

Maura continues to look at her, her eyes softening in a way, she hopes, will convince her to change her mind about talking. Regina continues to avoid her gaze. 

"I…" she says, and takes a breath, "I was just...picturing what it would be like when I go live with her."

Maura furrows her eyebrows. "What?"

"When she wakes up and I have to go live with her. I was trying to… and it made me sad."

This is a lot sooner than Maura was expecting to be having this conversation. There was no indication that Jane would be waking up soon, and never had she mentioned Regina going to live with her, but she did know they would have to talk about it eventually. She just wasn't expecting eventually to be right now. 

"What about that made you sad?" Maura asks, softly. 

"You're my mommy," she says, "I don't know Jane. And then I would never see you again…"

Maura's heartbreaks into a million pieces. She wishes with all her heart that Regina was hers, and she wishes that Jane were alive so she wouldn't have had to go through getting her and losing her. She was so willing and able to be Aunt Maura, she never wanted this to happen, Jane was always supposed to be part of this plan. 

"I...I'm not going to say that it isn't a possibility...but, I think Jane will understand if you don't go to live with her. Just because you're her biological daughter doesn't mean you have to live with her…she's very understanding. And even if you did go to live with her, we would still see each other all the time, Jane and I were nearly inseparable before her accident."

Regina nods, still looking down, and Maura thinks that maybe she didn't say the right thing. Instead, she gently wraps her arms around Regina's waste and squeezes her tight, pressing a kiss to her temple. 

"I will always be here for you, Regina. I love you with everything that I have, and I would never make you do anything that makes you uncomfortable."

Regina gives her a small smile in the mirror and reaches up with her hand to gently pat Maura's cheek. She closes her eyes, reveling in the softness of her little hands. 

"I love you, too, mommy."

Maura smiles back and squeezes her sides gently, earning a giggle in return. 

"Okay, let's get this done so I can get you off to school."

*********

"Dr. Isles, she's waking up."

She's so frozen that she can't even speak. There is no way this is happening. She had just been there yesterday, and there was no indication that Jane was going to wake up any time this week, let alone this year. She's ecstatic, so overjoyed, and yet the pit in her stomach gives her pause. She tries to move her mouth to respond, but finds that she can't. Is this why Regina was asking about Jane this morning? Did she know, like she always does, in her own extraordinary way?

"Dr. Isles? Are you there?"

She blinks and shakes her head. "Yes, um...what are her vitals?"

"She's completely stable, but the way her brain waves are changing, I would say she'll be fully awake within the hour."

"Can I see her?" She asks, and holds her breath. 

"Of course. I'm sure she would like to see a familiar face."

"I'll be there in 20 minutes."

She hangs up her phone and shoves it in her pocket, looking back down at the body on her table. And suddenly she remembers that she was in the middle of an autopsy.

She squeezes her eyes closed. "Shit."

She gently puts down the scalpel and removes the gloves from her hands as she walks out of the morgue. She feels like she's walking drunk, everything seems surreal, like a dream, and as the doors close behind her she has to pause for a second. She licks her dry lips, then turns her head back and forth, looking for something she isn't sure of. 

"Maura?"

She turns her head slowly and there is Kent, as if he had appeared from the air. 

"Are you okay?" He asks. 

She looks into his eyes and she can tell that he is concerned, but she doesn't really see him. 

"Jane's waking up," she murmurs.

"What?" He asks, incredulously.

"I have to go."

"Of course! Do you need me to finish the autopsy?"

Maura nods vaguely, and tries to give him a smile, but it feels like more of a grimace.

"Don't worry about the autopsy," he says, "you go, I'll cover everything here."

Maura nods again and turns from him, heading to the elevator, not really feeling her feet on the ground. She doesn't feel the elevator go up, or feel it stop, and she doesn't see the doors opening and closing and opening again when she reaches the main floor. But when she finally moves to leave the elevator, her body runs into another one. 

"Whoa, Maura, you okay?"

She looks up and it's Frankie. And finally the excitement hits her again, because he looks just like Jane when he smiles, and he's smiling, and Jane will be smiling at her again, and her heart is so full of love. 

"Frankie," she gasps, pulling him into a hug, "She's awake, Frankie!"

"What?" He asks, pulling away.

"She's waking up, I have to go to her, she can't be alone when she wakes up--"

"Hold on, should you be driving? Kent just texted me and said you were acting weird."

"Did you not just hear what I said? She's awake, Frankie."

"I know, I heard you, but let me go with you, I don't want you driving."

Maura nods vigorously and grabs his hand, pulling him out of the elevator. "We have to go now."

"Okay, okay, I'm coming."

*********

God, those eyes.

She hasn't seen those eyes in 6 long years and, God, has she missed the way they exam her. Maura can only stand in the doorway, petrified and excited at the same time. 

Jane doesn't smile, but she doesn't look away. She seems confused and Maura wonders what could possibly be on that beautiful mind. She wants to go to her, hold her, kiss her, but she's stuck in the doorway and she isn't sure whether she'll be able to move any time soon. 

"Oh my god, Janie!"

Frankie pushes into the room from behind Maura, and she still can't move even when Jane trains her eyes on him instead. 

"Hey, Frankie," Jane says softly, as Frankie wraps her in a tight hug. 

Maura wishes she wasn't here, all of a sudden. She probably should have let Angela and the family come to visit before her, and for a second she almost turns away. 

"God, Janie, I'm so happy you're--"

"How long, Frankie?"

Maura realizes that what she mistook as softness is actually hoarseness. Her voice is hoarse from years of inactivity, and it makes Maura's heart ache.

"Uh…"

"Just tell me."

Frankie scratches his head nervously and looks to Maura who looks back at him blankly. 

"Six years."

Jane opens her mouth as if to speak, but instead tears run down her cheeks, and Maura wishes she could move but she can't. She wants to kiss away those tears, but she also wants to run away, guilty for something she isn't sure of. 

Jane bites her cheek, color coming back that Maura never noticed she was missing. She sets her jaw and closes her eyes, and she is so beautiful and she feels so badly for her that she almost wants to cry herself. And when she looks at Maura again, dead in the eye, she realizes she already is. 

"And Regina?" She asks, eyes wide. 

Frankie goes to answer but Maura knows she has to say this, knows that Jane needs to hear it from her mouth. 

"I've been taking care of her," Maura says, and her voice cracks. 

Jane nods, her eyes filled with relief, and clears her throat. "Is she okay?"

And finally, Maura can move, almost as if letting out some of her guilt breaks her catatonia. As if she needed Jane to be relieved about her relationship to Regina before she could approach her. She takes two steps and she's by Jane's side, taking her hand as Frankie watches. 

"Yes… and she's beautiful, Jane."

Jane smiles a little through her tears. "Good."

"She's very sweet, nothing like you were as a kid," Frankie says, chuckling. 

She glares at him. "Shut up, I was the _sweetest_ child."

"Uh, hello? Remember that scar on my leg?"

"Well if you weren't bothering me, I wouldn't have bit you!"

Maura laughs along with them, not contributing, just being with them is all that she needs. 

Just being with her is all that she needs. 

*********

"Go home, Maura."

Her voice has gotten stronger in the last few hours. She's not even sure how long she's been here, or how long ago Frankie left to go get Regina, or what time Angela came and went. She has no idea what time it is, and honestly she doesn't even care. 

"Jane, no," she says, exhausted. 

"You're falling asleep sitting up, call Ma to come pick you up and--"

"I'm not leaving."

Jane sighs and gives Maura an amused look, but then her smirk turns into a slight frown. 

"Don't you need to go home for…" she trails off, as if she can't say her name. In fact, she hasn't said her name besides the first time, but Maura knows who she means.

"No," Maura says, shaking her head and avoiding her eyes, "Frankie offered to watch her tonight."

"Does she know where you are?" Jane asks her lap. 

"Yes. And I know she'll probably be upset, but I'll talk to her tomorrow."

"Upset about you not spending the night with her? Is she that attached to you?"

Maura laughs a little. "No, we uh...she was concerned this morning about what would happen when...it's funny, it's almost like she knew you would wake up today."

Jane furrows her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"She was concerned this morning that when you woke up, she would never see me again," Maura shrugs, trying to sound nonchalant. 

"I…" Jane sighs and starts again. "I would love to just pick her up, take her home and go back to normal...but I know that's not going to happen. She knows you as her mother, it wouldn't be good for her to be taken from that."

Maura doesn't say anything, just watches as thought after thought flickers across Jane's eyes. She wonders what she could be thinking, wonders if Jane is thinking about how badly she wishes that she was there to raise her child instead of Maura. 

"I hope she understands that I would never take her from the only family she knows," Jane finishes quietly. 

"I told her that," Maura murmurs. 

"Doesn't mean she believed you."

"She knows I don't lie."

Jane nods and smiles a little. "True...but I think maybe she needs to hear it from me."

Maura nods. And even though it scares her, for some odd reason she gives Jane a smile. 

"I'll bring her by tomorrow."

*********

The car is the most silent it has ever been, which says a lot considering Maura and Regina are normally quiet people. They've taken this route many times before, but obviously today is different. 

Maura wishes she could break the silence, but she has no idea how. She wishes she could just read Regina's mind, but the girl has decided that she would like to keep her thoughts to herself. 

Building after building flies by the window and the air just fills more and more with a sad sort of tension. Maura isn't sure whether it's coming from Regina or herself, and she also isn't exactly sure why either of them should be sad. Nothing is going to change. 

And yet, everything is changing. 

They make their way down that familiar hallway again. Regina walks about three places ahead of Maura, as if she wants to get this conversation over with, while Maura wishes that it wasn't happening at all. She wants to keep holding onto the idea that Regina is hers, that Regina will continue to choose her instead of Jane. In her mind, she knows this fear is ridiculous, Regina has already said that she wants to be with her, but her heart knows that she will never be as good a mother as Jane was. 

_"Oh, Jane, don't change her on the coffee table, there is a perfectly good changing table over there."_

_Jane shakes her head, quickly undoing the snaps on Regina's onesie. "She gets fussy when she's constricted."_

_Maura watches from the sidelines as Regina wiggles and Jane grunts with the effort of keeping her still. She murmurs softly to the baby, hoping that talking to her politely will get her to stop, but Regina continues to kick her little legs. She's tired, she's dishevelled and she's so, so beautiful._

_"Do you need help?" Maura asks, softly._

_"No, I got it," Jane says, and she sounds almost shy, like maybe she could read Maura's thoughts as she watched her._

_Jane takes one long finger and swipes it down the pad of Regina's foot. Regina makes a little grunt, kicks her leg out extra hard, and then both of her feet finally hold still. Jane smiles to herself and finally gets the new diaper on, completely missing the shocked look on Maura's face._

_"How did you do that?" Maura asks, sitting down on the couch next to her._

_Jane shrugs. "I dunno, I did it on accident the other day and it worked, so I figured I'd try it again."_

_Maura shakes her head, grinning. "You're a natural, Jane."_

_"Thanks, Maura," she says, meeting her eyes and smiling back._

Maura knows that, if Jane tried, Regina would want to live with her like they did before. Jane's natural mothering instinct could win over any child and the idea is heartbreaking because if that were to happen, she's not sure that she will see either of them again. 

Regina is moving too fast, and before long they are at Jane's door, just like many other times before. Except this time, everything is changing. 

Regina stands outside the door, simply staring as if waiting for someone else to tell her what to do. She won't look at Maura, just at the door, and she figures that it is her responsibility to get this ball rolling. She doesn't want that responsibility. 

Instead, she knocks lightly on the door and turns the knob to open the door just a crack. Jane is sitting up in bed, looking towards the door, and for a minute she looks scared until she notices that it's Maura. She gives her a soft smile that makes Maura's heart speed up. 

"Hi," Maura says, "can we come in?"

Jane nods. "Yeah of course."

She can tell Jane is nervous, even if she's smiling to hide that. Maura wonders if she can hear her heartbeat in this quiet room. Maura places a gentle hand on Regina's shoulder, guiding her stiffly into the room with her. 

The tension in the room is almost unbearable, but Maura forces a smile onto her face anyway. She thinks for a second that she might throw up. 

"Regina, this is Jane," Maura says, and clears her throat, "She's your...your biological mother."

Jane is looking at Regina with her eyebrows knit, as if noticing something that Maura cannot see. All she can see is that Regina is staring at the floor, and her normally polite daughter hasn't said a word even though she has been introduced. She squeezes her shoulder gently, not sure whether she's doing it to encourage Regina to speak, or to just let her know that she's still there. 

Jane looks back at Regina before looking up to Maura, her eyes starting to fill with tears. 

"Maur, can you…" she clears her throat and starts again, "I think it would be easier if it was just her and I. Is that okay?"

Maura waits for Regina, who gives a small nod to let her know she's okay. 

"Of course. I'll be right outside." She's not sure who she says it to. Maybe she says it to reassure herself incase something goes wrong, but why she thinks something might go wrong is a whole other disturbing feeling. She turns and leaves, closing the door behind her as Jane's eyes follow her out of the room. 

She doesn't want to hover, but she wants to watch, but she doesn't want to make it seem obvious that she's watching. In the end she decides to just sit outside, staring at the wall opposite her as she over thinks. Is this the end of their family? Is this the end of her and Jane, for good? She can't even bare to think of losing either of them, let alone both of them. 

She's not sure how long she's been sitting outside of Jane's room when the door finally opens and a sheepish Regina sticks her head out. It's obvious she has been crying, but the tears are dry and her hair is slightly mussed, like maybe she had been running her hands through it. Another trait she picked up from Jane. 

Maura looks at her and Regina looks back. She breathes in, as if buying time to think of what to say. 

"Is it okay if Jane is my new Dad?" She asks. 

Maura blinks for a second, the sentence slowly registering in her brain. "What?"

"I just...I figured, I don't have a Dad, and you're my mommy, so Jane can be my Dad…" she drifts off for a second, then says, "She said that was okay, but that I should ask you first."

Maura can only open and close her mouth like a fish a few times before she can finally speak. 

"I--uh...if--if it's okay with Jane...sure, that's fine, darling."

Regina nods, as if they have finally finished a business meeting and have come to a reasonable compromise. 

"Okay, you can come in now."

She follows Regina into the room and is immediately met with a grinning Jane, obviously pleased with the way the conversation has turned out. 

Maura squints at her in judgement. "Her Dad, Jane? Really?"

"Well, one of us has to be the Dad in this relationship," Jane shrugs, "and you're her mom, so it seems right."

"You know, there are probably 12 thousand lesbian couples waiting to burn down your apartment for saying that, right?" 

Jane's eyes follow her across the room as she moves towards her chair, and a shiver goes up Maura's spine at the unusual attention. 

"Yeah, but your reaction is worth it." Jane grins.

Maura rolls her eyes. 

"Can we play chess now?" Regina asks, holding up the board from the game table they set up so many years ago. 

And just like that, the subject is changed. Everything has changed. And yet, everything is still the same. 

*********

It's been a month and Maura still cannot find the words to tell Jane how she feels.

She visits her every morning before work, and brings Regina by for a few hours after work. Their relationship is basically back to normal, back to what it used to be before Jane's accident. Everything was so awkward at first, and there is this weird undertone to all of their conversations, like they are speaking but there is still one thing left unsaid. Maura is 99% certain it's her fault. 

Because of this, she finds herself taking deep, relaxing breaths before walking into Jane's room, hoping maybe that will get her feelings to go away and make this interaction as stress free as possible. She knocks while opening the door anyway. 

Jane looks away from the TV and greets Maura with the most beautiful smile. 

"Hey, Maur."

Maura smiles back, "Hi. You ready for your walk?"

Jane makes a big pretend sigh, and grunts a little as she moves to leave her bed. It's the same thing she's done every single day since her physical therapist told her she needed to start doing it. It fills Maura's heart with glee to know that the old Jane is still there. 

"I guess so," Jane huffs, standing up straight, "Doctor's orders and all."

Slowly, she's been gaining her strength back, and if Maura hadn't been visiting everyday, she would think that Jane's sighing and grunting would indicate that she finds it painful to do this. As she watches Jane swagger around the bed and next to her in the doorway, she can't help but feel happy about Jane's obvious progress, because it doesn't hurt her, and she's walking like she has been doing it easily for the last 6 years instead of in a hospital bed. 

"You make it sound like it's torture to spend time with your best friend," Maura quips. 

"Nah," Jane says, shaking her head, "what's torture is having to get out of bed. You, I don't mind."

Maura laughs. "How sweet."

They make their way down the hallway, passing nurses who wave at them happily, and other patients taking their own walks. Some have walkers, others are attached to IV poles, and some are being pushed by a loved one or a nurse. Jane doesn't seem to look like any of them, with her confident gait and her most comfortable sweatpants. 

"So," Maura says, pushing through the doors and entering the courtyard, "the nurse told me yesterday that you are being released tomorrow."

"Ah damn," Jane sighs, "I was gonna surprise you."

Maura grins. "You were?"

"Yeah, I was gonna show up to your office and lay on one of the morgue tables, pretending to be a dead body, and then--"

"Scare me? You know, just for that, you can go stay with your mother while you recover," Maura says, laughing a little. 

Just as she's about to sit on their normal bench, she realizes that Jane has stopped, looking at the ground with her brow furrowed. Maura walks slowly back to her, concerned. 

"Jane? What's wrong?" She asks, and takes one of her hands. Jane just looks at it. 

"You want me to come stay with you?"

Maura smiles cautiously, but Jane still doesn't meet her eyes. 

"Of course I do," she says, "I would like to monitor you to make sure you're healing properly."

Jane opens and closes her mouth a few times, before closing it, and nodding her head. 

"What is it?" Maura asks softly, moving closer to her friend. 

Jane shakes her head. "I dunno, I just thought that...nevermind, it's dumb--"

"Jane…"

Jane makes a hard sigh and says, "I just don't want to intrude on your life, is all."

Maura feels her mouth fall open in shock, and that's when Jane finally decides to look up, a guilty look on her face. 

"You wouldn't be intruding on my life, you're my best friend. In fact, there has been a severe lack of intrusion on your part for the better half of 6 years," Maura shakes her head and smiles, "I welcome your presence in my life again. In fact, I feel that I almost crave it."

Jane looks at her face, her eyes sweeping every inch to make sure everything she is saying is true. How could she possibly forget that Maura can't lie? How could she ever doubt that these words are the truth and always have been?

"God, it really has been 6 years, hasn't it?" Jane murmurs, "You never had this wrinkle before."

She feels Jane's thumb sweep gently over the line from her eye, the softest touch she thinks she's ever felt, and it takes everything in her not to hyperventilate. 

"Do I look different too?"

Maura almost laughs. "You don't know?"

"I...I haven't been able to look in the mirror."

Maura smiles. "You're gorgeous."

Jane presses her lips together to stop herself from laughing, and God how Maura has missed that face, and how easy it is to still read her even after so long. 

"Thanks, Maur."

Maura squints a little. "Can we sit down now?"

"Oh God, please, I can't stand any longer," Jane sighs dramatically, pretending to stumble over to the bench and sit. 

They sit in comfortable silence for a moment, looking out at greenery. The grass is lush, the sun is shining, the most perfect spring day there ever was. Maura feels content, her worries slipping away as she lets the sun warm her skin, and soaks in Jane's presence. She really missed her. 

"Sooo…" Jane starts. 

"Hmm?"

"So… Jack is okay with me staying with you guys?"

Maura squints. _Jack_? They had been broken up for so long, she had almost forgotten that they were still together when Jane had her accident. She had forgotten that she hadn't said anything about him either.

She feels herself make a small laugh before she can even stop it, and Jane looks at her skeptically. 

"Jack and I broke up a long time ago."

"Oh," Jane says, surprise tinting her voice, and then it shifts to concern. "Whaaat? I thought you two were gonna get married."

"Mmm, so did I, but it seems we were both wrong."

"What happened?"

Maura shrugs. She doesn't want to tell her the truth, she's not ready to have that conversation just yet, despite what she may have thought a few years ago. 

"Nothing important," she says, instead. 

"So...how long ago is 'a long time ago'?"

Maura knows what she's doing. She knows that Jane knows they broke up because of her, and now she's trying to back up her assumption with evidence. Maura knows she can't lie about this. 

"About...five years ago."

She can feel Jane looking at her, but Maura chooses to look at a leaf falling gently through the air instead. 

"Was it because of Regina?"

Maura smiles. She's glad that's the question she asked, instead of the one she was expecting. "No."

"Was it…" Jane pauses and Maura's heart sinks. She's absolutely not ready. "Because of me?"

Maura chews on her lip as her stomach starts fluttering with nerves. 

"He...he may have been concerned with the amount of time I was spending worrying about you, yes."

Jane nods. 

"And I may have gotten angry about his insensitivity. But, the bottom line is, he's gone, so you don't have to be concerned about his feelings."

She finally looks over and Jane's mouth is pressed into a straight line, like maybe she feels a bit guilty.

"I'm sorry I screwed up your relationship."

Maura frowns. "You didn't screw it up. We did. You had nothing to do with it, it just wasn't meant to be."

"Yeah, but...he was perfect for you."

"Well, I'm sure someone else will come along," Maura says, but looks down at the ground to avoid accidently gazing at the love of her life sitting right next to her. 

*********

Regina had been planning the one man surprise party for days, and honestly, Maura had never seen her as excited for something as she had been for this. Therefore, it took everything in her not to say anything to Jane when she went to pick her up the next day. 

They had packed her things the night before, making it easier for the hospital staff, and making it easier for them. So, when Maura took the last walk to Jane's room, it seemed too fast, but also too slow. She takes in the walls again, one last time, gives a small smile to each staff member who grins, knowing that today is probably one of the best days Maura has had in six long years. 

Jane is already sitting on the edge of her bed when Maura comes in. She has her duffle bag sitting next to her, and her coat is on, a little kid waiting for their mom to pick them up from school. But as she sees Maura, her smile turns into a slight frown. 

"Where's Regina?"

"What, I'm not good enough?" Maura jokes. 

"No! I didn't mean that, I ju--"

"Jane, I'm kidding. I told her she needs to clean her room before you get there."

"Wow," Jane says, standing up, "Tough, Mom."

"Well, someone has to do it," Maura grins. "I'll take your bag."

"Nah, I got it."

They walk out silently through the halls, and Jane says goodbye to every nurse that passes her and wishes her well. Maura's heart feels so full, and she wants nothing more than to take Jane's hand in her own, but knows that she shouldn't. She basks in Jane's glow instead, her strong and excited demeanor flowing out like rays of sunshine and caressing everyone she passes. She is recovering and she's going home when no one thought she would. 

They climb into the car, and it's quiet, but Maura can feel the smile on Jane's face as if she were looking right at it. She feels light-headed and heavy at the same time, like waking up feeling warm, cozy, and relaxed after a mid afternoon nap on a school day. Maura can't help but feel that her life is finally going back to normal, after so many years of worrying and sadness. The world is right again because Jane is by her side. 

They are halfway to the house when it happens. Maura, stopped at a red light, looks out through the windshield, taking in Boston with a fresh pair of eyes. First, she feels Jane's fingers, warm and gentle on her arm, before they slide up and intertwine with her own. She feels her heart speed up, suddenly afraid to speak or do anything other than hold Jane's hand. 

So she doesn't speak, and neither does Jane. When the light turns green, she simply lifts her foot off the break and keeps driving like nothing happened. Jane squeezes her hand for a second, before relaxing again against her thigh. Maura tries so hard not to smile. 

She doesn't know what this means. Is Jane longing for the closeness of her friend, or is she making the first move? She's afraid to ask lest she get the answer she isn't looking for. She knows they will have to talk about this eventually, but right now, she has Jane back and she is happy. 

They pull into the driveway and finally pull apart without speaking, gathering Jane's things and heading to the front door. 

"Home sweet home," Jane sighs. 

Maura looks over her shoulder at her as she unlocks the door, sharing a gentle smile that can only be shared between two best friends. She pushes the door open and holds out her arm for Jane. 

"After you."

"Why thank you, Dr. Isles," Jane says, grinning and stepping through the doorway, "so polite!"

As soon as she's through the doorway, she stops, looking towards the kitchen that Regina so meticulously decorated this morning. There is a giant paper banner that says "Welcome Back, Jane (Dad)" in Regina's sloppy handwriting, with hearts and balloons, and a person on crutches. There are flowers and cards and a whole lunch buffet set up on the kitchen island. Obviously, Maura helped with the banner, and Angela cooked the food, but it was all Regina's plan, and she had set everything up so beautifully that Maura feels she could cry. 

And in front of it all, stands the girl herself, smiling sheepishly with a grinning Angela by her side. 

"Surprise!" Regina shouts.

"Welcome home, Janie!" Angela says. 

"You guys," Jane says, plopping her duffle bag on the ground, "you didn't have to do this."

"It was Regina's idea," Maura says. 

Regina walks up to Jane and wraps her arms around her waist. Jane, speechless and slightly teary, wraps her arms around her shoulders and kisses her on the head. 

"Thank you, baby," Maura hears her murmur.

"Your welcome," the reply is muffled by Jane's shirt. 

"Aww, come here!" Angela says, walking towards them with her arms open wide. 

"Maaaa, you're ruining the moment."

"No I'm not!" 

Maura hears Jane and Regina laughing as Angela crushes them in a group hug and her heart is so full, she wonders how it hasn't burst from her chest yet. She feels herself start to tear up a bit at the happy reunion. Her little family. Or what it could be. 

"Maura!" Angela calls. 

And before she can even fully come back to her surroundings, Angela is pulling her into their huddle, and Jane is pretending to complain loudly in her ear, and Regina is just giggling along with it all. 

Maura feels content. 

*********

"I would have given you the guest bedroom but…"

They are lying side by side in Maura's bed, something they haven't done in almost seven years, and something Maura hasn't done with anyone since Regina turned four. They used to sleep in the same bed all the time before she met Jack, and she thought that it would be okay, but clearly she hadn't thought it through. 

Because Maura wants to touch her. Not in any overtly sexual way, but she wants to touch her. Hold her in her arms, rub her back, play with her hair...just to make sure that she's real. That she's actually here. She knows that once she starts, she will never stop, so she keeps her hands to herself as Jane wiggles and settles further into the covers. 

"Regina's got it now, I get it. Don't worry," she says, "I'll just move to the couch if you snore."

Maura smiles to herself. "I don't snore."

"Then, this will be fine."

Maura searches her mind for something else to say, but it seems that she cannot find the words. What do you say to someone who doesn't know you're in love with them as you lay in the same bed? She decides instead to focus on her breathing, hoping maybe she will fall asleep. 

Just as she takes her third breath in, she feels Jane's fingers against her arm again. Just like in the car, only this time she is quick to intertwine their fingers and rubs gentle circles on the back of Maura's hand. She can feel her heart go faster, and she hopes she doesn't start to hyperventilate, but it feels like she might. 

"Tonight was wonderful," Jane murmurs. 

"Yeah," Maura breathes. 

Jane squeezes her hand briefly, before shifting just a bit closer to Maura. 

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," she manages to choke out.

"What was she like...growing up?"

Maura is glad that is her question. Regina is a safe topic, she could talk about her for years. She smiles, her worries melting away. 

"Just like she is now. Quiet, inquisitive...smart. Kind, and very intuitive."

"She reminds me of you."

Maura frowns slightly. "Is that… is that okay?"

"Of course it is," Jane says, "why wouldn't it be?"

Maura shrugs. "I don't know...I was worried you would think she was...weird, or something. I imagine she would be different had she been raised by you."

"Well, yeah," Jane says, "but, I don't think she's weird. I don't think you're weird, it's just interesting to see a little girl that looks like me but acts like you." Maura can feel Jane chuckle through the shake of the mattress. "It's almost like…"

Maura waits but Jane doesn't go on. "Almost like what?"

"Like we had her together," Jane says, but it's a soft whisper of revere that Maura almost doesn't hear. 

And it's then that Maura decides this is the perfect time to tell her. In the dark, when they can't see each other, on the tail end of a conversation about their daughter. Because she _is_ their daughter, and over the last month Maura had been reluctant to accept that after telling herself for so many years that Regina wasn't her's. She is theirs. 

"There was a period of time when I...I lost my faith, I guess you could say. People were telling me that it was unlikely you would recover… Jack being one of them. And I was… I didn't know how to handle the idea of you never waking up."

"Oh," is Jane's only response. It's filled with sadness, but she doesn't say anything else, so Maura continues. 

"So, there were a few weeks when I didn't come to see you. I think it was just over a month. And then, I woke up one morning with her in my arms and… it was like my faith had been restored. Seeing her, it made me want to go to you again. I was planning on visiting you that day. I didn't voice my plan aloud to her or anyone else, but somehow, she knew. She didn't want to leave my side that day, I had to bring her to work with me. I think she knew that going to see you again would be hard, and she wanted to be there for me."

Jane simply squeezes her hand, letting her know she's still listening, but chooses not to say anything. 

"But… I remember visiting you that day because I had something really important to tell you, even if I knew you wouldn't hear it."

"What did you want to tell me?"

And suddenly she's afraid again. All the signs are pointing to Jane returning her feelings, but she just can't seem to say the words aloud. She wishes Jane could read her mind, she wishes Jane had heard her the first time she said it, so she wouldn't have the opportunity to chicken out like so many other times before. She feels tears flooding her eyes. 

"Jane…"

She can feel the bed shift again, and Jane is wrapping one too skinny arm around her waist and she can feel her breath against her cheek. 

"I'm right here, Maura."

She lets the tears fall for a few moments, cooling her face and somehow making her feel stronger. 

"I love you, so much, Jane."

"I love you, too," she immediately whispers back. 

"No, I… I'm in love with you. I want to be with you, I want us to be like this all the time. I want to raise her together, as a couple, like the parents she deserves--"

"I want that, too."

"What?" She says, turning her head, and she feels Jane's nose bump against her cheek. She had hoped for so long that this would be her response, but she never let herself believe she would hear the words. 

"I feel the same way, Maura...I have for years."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"For the same reasons you didn't."

"But… you were so happy when I met Jack."

Jane sighs. "Yeah, happy for _you_. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, and if he was what you wanted, then I was willing to accept that."

Maura can only nod, her breath hitching slightly as Jane presses her lips against her temple. 

"I thought he was what I wanted...and then you started letting me help you with your pregnancy and saying we would raise her together… and it wasn't until after the accident that I realized _that_ was what I wanted."

"Maura…" Jane coos, and tries to pull her closer even though they are as close as they possibly can be.

"You know, I was so worried about what you would think when you woke up and realized that I had raised her. I thought maybe you would resent me, or be mad at me."

They sit in silence for a few minutes and Maura starts thinking that maybe she's right. Maybe Jane does resent her for raising her daughter, but just doesn't want to say it aloud. But, only when Jane presses a gentle kiss to her cheek does she realize how that train of thought is illogical. 

"I always wanted you to be her mother, Maura. I didn't expect you to do it alone...but I always wanted it to be you. And you know, she loved you from the very beginning."

"How do you know?"

"Because she would always calm down in your presence. You were the only thing that immediately soothed her. If that's not a sign of love from a baby, then I don't know what is."

Maura wipes at her tears with the back of her hand and sniffles. It's the confirmation she has needed for the last six years, something that can only make sense coming from Jane's mouth, and not anyone else's. She knows that Angela has said similar things, but it didn't seem truthful coming from her. Through Jane's lips she is able to finally accept the love she has for her daughter. 

"She's your daughter, Maura… and she's so beautiful."

She makes a watery smile and presses her forehead against Jane's in the darkness. 

"She's ours."

She can feel Jane's grin in the darkness through the shift of her forehead. 

"Yes, she is."

*********

Aretha Franklin's Respect is Regina's song choice of the morning. She sings it though there is no music, and Maura joins in occasionally, to the amusement of Regina. She is sitting on the counter, and Maura is doing her hair for the day and trying not to soak the bathroom with water. This is their normal. 

Maura looks up into the mirror, and notices a sleepy, smiling Jane in the doorway of the bathroom, just watching them. Maura gives her a smile in return.

"Well, good morning!"

Regina looks up as well. "Good morning, Jane!"

"Mornin' ladies," Jane rasps, "what are we doing in here?"

"Mommy is fixing my hair."

Jane squints and crosses her arms, taking a step into the bathroom and next to Maura to observe her work. 

"What are you doing to it?" She asks. 

"Just adding some water and leave-in conditioner."

"Why? Just brush it and go."

"It brings more definition to her curls, instead of it just being frizzy."

"Mmm, I don't know," Jane says, "Sounds like a lot of work."

"Mommy could do it for you!" Regina chimes in. 

Maura looks at Jane and raises her eyebrows, silently questioning whether that's something Jane would like or not. Jane can't help but smile at her, but eventually shakes her head. 

"Maybe if I decide to leave the house later, I'll let you do it."

"Okay," Maura grins, "just let me know."

"I'm making coffee," Jane says, then looks at Regina in the mirror, "Regina, you want any?"

She giggles. "I can't drink coffee, Jane."

"Alright, suit yourself," Jane says, raising her hands in defeat, "I didn't want to just make a cup for myself."

"What about me?" Maura protests. 

"Nah, you don't need any."

"Jane!"

"Nope, no coffee for you," she says, walking out the door, "bye!"

Maura laughs and turns back to Regina's hair, shaking her head in amusement. 

"Is she really not going to make you coffee?" Regina asks. 

"No, love, she was kidding."

"Oooh. Okay."

It only takes another five minutes for Maura to finish up Regina's hair. She works in silence, but the feeling in the little bathroom is so loving and happy. She watches Regina through the mirror, occasionally smiling to herself as she wrings the fabric of her pants between her hands. Maura hasn't seen her this happy since her last birthday party.

"Okay," she says, putting down the brush, "All done."

Regina turns and hops down from the counter, but instead of going out the door like she normally does, she wraps her arms around Maura's waist instead. Maura can't help but to kiss the top of her curly head. 

"Mommy?"

"Hmm?"

"Is Jane going to live with us?"

Maura frowns to herself. "That's up to her. Why?"

Regina shrugs and pulls away with a sheepish smile. "I like having her here."

The wide smile that takes over Maura's face is completely involuntary, but she wouldn't have it any other way. Because Regina is happy that Jane is here, and somehow that's the best news she's ever gotten. 

"Me too."

*********

"Got the tox screens back," Kent says, sliding up beside Maura. "Finding anything interesting?"

"Mmm, not really," Maura says, looking up from her microscope. "You?"

"Nope. Just alcohol in his system."

She gets up from her stool and walks back towards the body, examining it one last time before she writes up her final report. She doesn't think she's missed anything, but checking again can only benefit her in the long run. 

"Maura, if you keep checking the body, you're going to start hallucinating problems."

"I will not. I just...want to be thorough."

"You're the most thorough person I know."

Maura ignores him and continues to examine the body, gently probing the man's back and legs as he hovers behind her. As she reaches underneath him and looks up, she notices an all too familiar figure in the doorway. And the smile that comes across her face could power all of Boston. 

She's standing in the doorway, almost like this morning, except less sleepy. She does a little wave when she notices Maura noticing her, and suddenly the body in front of her is damn near invisible. 

"Dr. Isles?" Kent asks, cautiously. 

"Hmm? Oh," Maura shakes her head and turns away from Jane. "I'm finished. Nothing unusual, cause of death as previously stated."

Kent has a smile on his face like the cat that got the cream. 

"Who's that?"

Maura swallows, but smirks to hide her nervousness. "Who's who?"

"That tall, dark, and handsome woman standing in the doorway."

"That's none of your business."

"Is that the famous Jane Rizzoli?" Kent asks, and gasps. "Oh, I get why Jack felt like he couldn't compete."

Maura pulls off her gloves and rolls her eyes, moving around him and towards the door where Jane awaits. Jane gives her a dimpled smile, her hands casually in her pockets as she leans against the door. 

"Hey," Jane says. 

"Hi," Maura smiles. 

"Hope you don't mind me stopping by."

"Not at all."

"Who is the nerd that's staring at us?" Jane says out of one side of her mouth.

Maura laughs. "That's Kent."

" _Kent_. Interesting."

Maura turns back around, but not before she rolls her eyes at Jane. She wonders what she would have thought of him if she was there to see him on his first day. If she thought he was nerdy now…

"Um, Kent? I would like you to meet my friend, Detective Jane Rizzoli."

Jane gives him a little wave. "Hello."

"Detective Rizzoli," Kent says, peeling off his gloves and coming towards them, "It is so nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you."

"Well, if you're hearing it from Maura, it isn't true," Jane says, and shakes his hand when he finally reaches them. Maura punches her lightly in the arm in protest. 

"I'm just glad I have a face to go with the name and all the stories everyone has been telling about you. I mean, youngest female to be admitted into the Homicide unit, your outstanding arrest and conviction record. You're practically a legend."

"Wow, didn't know you were gonna introduce me to my biggest fan today, Maura," Jane chuckles. 

"He's just trying to impress you," she smirks.

"I just wanted to tell you how amazed I am at your work," Kent says, then takes a deep breath, "and now I'm going to go run some more tests. It was nice meeting you."

Jane smiles. "You too."

Kent makes an awkward bow, and then walks out the door without looking back. 

"He's...interesting," Jane says, plastering on a smile. 

"Stop it, he is a very nice man."

"Mmm," Jane squints and crosses her arms over her chest, "How nice?"

"Well, he donates to charities, he used to be in the military--"

Jane laughs. "Are _those_ the things that turn you on?"

Maura looks at her, confused, and Jane looks back, her eyebrows raised in a challenge. Maura has no idea what she's talking about...and then she does. 

"Are you asking if I slept with him?"

"He seemed awfully...chummy."

"Not only is he my subordinate, he is also my friend, so no, I did not sleep with him."

"He was all up in your personal space, Maura."

"That's just how he is. He's weird, but harmless."

"Hmmm," Jane hums skeptically, "Okay, if you say so. But, that guy definitely likes you."

"Well, it doesn't matter," Maura says, smiling, "Because I love _you_."

A blush like Maura has never seen before rises on Jane's cheeks as she tries, and fails to hold back her smile. She looks up at Maura through her lashes for a second, and Maura is blown away by her beauty. Jane looks away, and clears her throat. 

"So...this guy...how'd he, uh-- what his story?"

Maura looks down at the body between them, a body she had conveniently forgotten was actually there. 

"Well, it was initially labeled as a suicide, but cause of death, is esphixiation… he choked on his own vomit, which was induced by alcohol posioning."

"Hmm… so not a murder."

Maura laughs at that and shakes her head. "No, definitely not a murder."

"Then, you don't need me in here," Jane says, and saunters her way to Maura's office door. 

"Well, not need, per se. But, I would love to feel you hovering anxiously over my shoulder again, like old times."

She turns around in the doorway, leaning one shoulder against the door frame like she had done only moments before. She looks at Maura with something that can only be described as adoration, and Maura feels her knees starting to weaken. 

"You want me to stay?" She says, so softly, but it carries throughout the steely room.

Maura nods. "Please?"

Jane gives her a one sided smirk, and keeps her eyes locked with Maura's as she walks back across the room and pulls herself up on the empty autopsy table. She then crosses her legs, seemingly settling in for the afternoon. Maura's not sure why this image makes her feel whole again. 

"So, Dr. Isles… who is our next victim?"

The End


End file.
